You definitely have a style that's yours, one that fits the environment of the story. I love the clipped sentences and how they play into the descriptiveness, which is evocative. I myself have a problem with run-on sentences and over-descriptiveness, so it's refreshing to read something that can teach me a thing or two stylistically. Well done.
Thank you Thomas for reading and especially commenting! You are exactly right. I wanted to have a “pulse” about the piece, the short sentences are punchy, and a bit techno/ machine like.
Now this was right proper cyberpunk, innit!! Love everything about this. Feels like an excerpt from a world I want to witness in full. Most standout thing about the prose here to me: the very deliberate diversity of sentence/sentence fragment length. The piece itself breathes, the prose has a pulse. You proceed through the story in exactly the pace and path it has insisted upon for you. Marvelously done again, my friend.
I enjoyed this a lot, Kenn. "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?" is my first and only cyberpunk read, now this is the second. I enjoyed how concise this is and the noir overlay!
Thank you for reading and especially commenting. So many different styles out there. My collaboration with zephyr (Easy Money) was fun to write. Another Cyberpunk one but with alternating authors.
I really appreciated the emotional restraint. The piece never stops to explain the grief. It lets it come through the small physical things: the tumbler flexing in his hand, the cyber eye continuing to record, the drive rolling between his fingers, and Raven’s voice coming back in fragments. That feels more human than having him explain how broken he is.
You definitely have a style that's yours, one that fits the environment of the story. I love the clipped sentences and how they play into the descriptiveness, which is evocative. I myself have a problem with run-on sentences and over-descriptiveness, so it's refreshing to read something that can teach me a thing or two stylistically. Well done.
I should add, not all my writing is this way. For something mythic/ lyrical, try The White Song. It’s long, but worth it.
Thank you Thomas for reading and especially commenting! You are exactly right. I wanted to have a “pulse” about the piece, the short sentences are punchy, and a bit techno/ machine like.
Now this was right proper cyberpunk, innit!! Love everything about this. Feels like an excerpt from a world I want to witness in full. Most standout thing about the prose here to me: the very deliberate diversity of sentence/sentence fragment length. The piece itself breathes, the prose has a pulse. You proceed through the story in exactly the pace and path it has insisted upon for you. Marvelously done again, my friend.
I enjoyed this a lot, Kenn. "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?" is my first and only cyberpunk read, now this is the second. I enjoyed how concise this is and the noir overlay!
Thank you for reading and especially commenting. So many different styles out there. My collaboration with zephyr (Easy Money) was fun to write. Another Cyberpunk one but with alternating authors.
I enjoyed your writing very much. I'm going to follow along for more.
I really appreciated the emotional restraint. The piece never stops to explain the grief. It lets it come through the small physical things: the tumbler flexing in his hand, the cyber eye continuing to record, the drive rolling between his fingers, and Raven’s voice coming back in fragments. That feels more human than having him explain how broken he is.
I would love to see where this goes!
#QUOTE < Leaves the version of himself that walked in. >
Thank you so much for being the first to comment! If you enjoy the cyberpunk setting, you’ll probably enjoy:
Non-Functional
A new speculative short story. Dystopian and procedural.
https://kennreff.substack.com/p/non-functional?r=7gvz08&utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web